Morning :o)

Buenos Dias!

Find myself awake at a ridiculously early hour. People--mainly my boyfriend--wonder why I always tend to be up so early. I've always been a morning person, but I think that's mostly due to my mom training me that way. Even on weekends, I'd have to be up doing chores or spending time with her at like 6 or 7. Any time I sleep past that, I always feel like I've "wasted the day". If I stay up late drinking, chances are I'll be up that early, too.

During pregnancy I'd wake up wide awake at 3 am and want to grocery shopping. I think NOC shifts had something to do with that weird schedule. It's no shock to me that now that I have a 3 week old daughter that I'm up at 5 am to enjoy the quiet before she awakes again to feed....Just me, a keyboard, Chopin, and Christmas lights...Not bad, I say. Not bad. If only a cup of tea would find its way to me...

Today we will be venturing with my parents to the metropolis of Lone Rock. *lots of sarcasm where the word metropolis is used* Sandy and Roy are beyond excited to meet the little one. It's a long drive, but it's Christmas. They always try to be a part of what I have going on. I'm trying to grow up and spend time with family despite the hypocrisy and bs at times. What matters is they want to shower love on Presley, so that means I have to get over myself.

 I think what hurts most is when you actually go out of your way to try to connect with family and they ignore you. My own Godfather hasn't acknowledged my entrance into motherhood. I can only take that as "I don't care", "you made a mistake", and/or "still upset over our last conversation so I won't give you the time of day". I'm almost over it.

Today, I need to start hydrating more. I fell off the bandwagon there for a couple of days. I've lost about 20 pounds since I had Presley and I'd like to keep the momentum going. I can't excersise, so it's really about that water and eating right. All I can do is try and stay as active as I can during the day without setting back my recovery and not giving into chocolate and cake like things. Dessert is one of my soul mates, I'm sure. Luckily, fridge is stocked with bottled water and fruit. No excuses. I need my red tub of a wardrobe back like yesterday...

Speaking of my wardrobe and yesterday...
 Took a ride to Madison for two things. I wanted to pick out the coat I've been jonesin' on for Christmas, a Christmas dress and tights for the tot, and a few other menial things. Do you think when we got to the store they had any dresses in the size we needed? No. Why the hell isn't there a newborn section in most stores? It's like they expect you to just put your kid in a sack. Choices are limiting until they fit into 0-3 months...ugh.

Do you think they had my coat? Yes. In my size, too. BAM! Oh, wait---the buttons were popped off you say?? GAHHHH!!!!! Not paying that kind of money to sew them back on. They only had it in a lower size, and even my second choice in the jacket came in my size. I know at one point, I'd be able to fit into it, but why pressure myself? Going online to hopefully find it, because you know how it is when you meet a beautiful jacket and things are kismet...

However, we went to a different store and found her a really beautiful dress. She will look beautiful. I'm very excited to look at her studio pictures that have supposedly been e-mailed...

Anywho, back on the ranch--after returning from a long day we realized that we had no time to ourselves this week. We asked his mom/dad to watch the peanut while we do some things. AKA let's go get shawastey. NOT shawasted. Just shawastey. :)

So, we found ourselves at our usual place--Snaps. We visited there last Saturday for a couple hours and even though no one said anything, I feel judgement coming from somewhere that it's only been 3 weeks and here I am, but the thing is--I'm home allll day with Presley and I don't think having 2 or 3 beers over a couple hours is anything to get your panties in a twist about. So, I was shocked when we returned there that so many people would comment on "what are you doing here?", or "out again?" Sheesh. Not like we're bar hopping. All the baby mags say take people up on their offer to babysit and spend some much needed alone time with your spouse, because babies need to marinate in love. That's hard to do if you're crabby at each other all the time and forget why you're together in the first place. Going to snaps and indulging in a bit of jukebox, beers, and old times makes us fall in love with each other all over again.

I had a feeling I'd be going out so earlier before we left for Madison, I took some time to get ready, and I looked beautiful for the most part. What didn't look beautiful? My shoes. During my last trimester of pregnancy, I think my foot grew a bit, so my options for fall were a bit limited since I couldn't and hadn't worn heels for 7 months. I ended up with slippers. Cute, functional slippers, but slippers.
Fast forward to the first week home, my feet were so swollen from surgery, pitocin, and IV med/fluids that these "comfy'' slippers were tight. So now that my feet have returned to their gorgeous selves, when I wear them they are huuuuge! That's not the only problem. I have a cute outfit on from head to calf. I used to say toe, but when I look down there are these red giant kayaks of slippers on my feet. Not a fashion statement by any means. Granted, I was in Fox Lake so this is deemed "normal" or "acceptable". But I know better. It's not ok. If I could just lose a few more pounds, and get in the habit of wearing heels again, I'll be all good. This slipper/flat situation I've got going on is for the birds. Heels have become me. How I miss my babies....

So, I hear my offspring cooing. It's only a matter of time before her feeding alarm goes off and since my boyfriend was kind enough to do all the feedings between 8 pm and 4 am, it's on me. Knowing I have to pick up, shower, and get her all ready is enough to do to bring me to the time we have to leave. Maybe sneak in an episode or two of That 70's Show. My boyfriend ordered it for me as a Christmas gift, and since I guessed correctly on the first shot he has given it to me early. :)

I'm looking forward to the holiday(s). I know it can be tough this kind of year, but in my own personal life, I feel I have so much to be grateful for. Heat. Food. Love. And most importantly, I feel I have a real shot at a beautiful future full of all of the above.

xox