Life is Eating Me.

What a life.


I knew change was inevitable and going to happen. But you don't see all the changes right away. Before you know it, you're 2 weeks into being a parent and it hits you:

• You haven't slept more than 3 hours tops since bringing the bundle home
• No one really cares if you've been busy and are exhausted, they all want to see the baby come hell or high water
• You don't remember to feed yourself regularly--tis a challenge to do so.
• ...and coming into the pregnancy thing unexpectedly, you find that you actually CARE a lot more than you thought you would about how to raise a baby human. Crazy.

This is only the 26th of December, the holidays aren't even over technically and I feel burned out. In my head I had this notion that I would fulfill all the traditions that I thought "made" Christmas--go look at lights and sip hot cocoa, read the Bible story to my daughter drinking hot cocoa, opening gifts to Christmas music and sipping hot cocoa--basically everything with hot cocoa. haha..

 Instead the days leading up to the holiday were jam packed, and the holiday itself was tiresome due to having to travel to see family and spending time with family alone is tiresome enough. I'm so glad that Presley is such a blessing to others, and in return she was blessed with some nice things. I just can't believe that when we had Christmas day to ourselves at home, that I was so tired and unprepared. We did manage to scrape a Christmas dinner together last minute, and that was the highlight of my day with my boyfriend. Drinking and cooking. The rest was relaxation and taking turns with the baby...It's a lot of work to say the least...

...and I don't know if it was the booze, the holiday, or the hormones but the 6 week stretch I was hoping to make without having sex--yea, didn't last. 23 days post c-section I caved. It's not uncommon. Lots of women do before the check-up. The national average is 14 days...The thing that bothers me is having to tell my doctor that I had unprotected sex and even though we did the whole pull out number, I am really scared of becoming pregnant again. I think I may buy a test before my exam just to avoid embarassment. It would not be a good situation. Granted, I've done that dance many a time, but that's also how Presley got here.... You just never know. 

Even though we had a day off to "catch up" it seems that we are even further behind. Got to run and do some much needed grocery shopping this evening, followed by laundry. Going to bed at six doesn't sound unappealing at all. In fact, with the intervals you have to get up and do things in the middle of the night, it's how I survive. Going to bed at 9 at the latest. Thank God I'm not breastfeeding. i'd be a monster...Props to all the moms that do and try--but I'll pass over here..

I am really excited about one Christmas gift--a mani/pedi certificate from my man to pamper myself. Good man. I'll get around to doing that when I get around to shaving my legs. Here I thought not shaving would be the iron guard to celibacy, but apparently--not. ughhhhhh....STUPID me. 

So, now that I've taken some time to unload these thoughts, motherhood is calling my name louder than ever... Gotta get up and eat life or something... or perhaps I'll indulge in myself and allow myself to nap rather than spend the day cleaning. That sounds far nicer...